A List...
Yesterday I went to the market with a fellow volunteer. We walked in, made our respective purchases, and walked out. We did our best to use our Bulgarian and thought nothing of the experience. On the walk home I realized something a touch disturbing. I have gotten used to shopping in Bulgaria, in Bulgarian. The next question is, ‘what else am I in danger of accepting as routine?’ In no strict order, I give you a list…
1) Not flushing toilet paper. Word on the street is that the ‘system’ cannot handle the added stress. I have some well reasoned doubts on the validity of this inconvenience. But, with a trashcan full of discarded, discolored items, who am I to deviate from protocol?
2) Turkish toilets. Holes in the ground that work off of the squat and go philosophy. Don’t worry they put little groves in the floor for your feet, ‘so I got that going for me.’
3) Stray Dogs. Be thankful for Bob Barker, from the Price is Right, and his crusade to “Help control the pet population.” Things have gotten out of hand over here. They move in packs; they bark through the night. They follow you if you are out for a jog; they have already bitten one of the volunteers in training. I think they have eaten most of the cats, I don’t see many of those around.
4) Girls in semitransparent white pants. It is the current fashion. I had nothing to do with it, but I just thought it worth noting.
5) Roaming farm animals. I live in a bad petting zoo and I think the caretaker quit a couple of years back. The goats usually gather around the apartment building in the morning. The sheep wander back to town from the pastures around sunset. The horses are pretty unpredictable and will show up on their own accord. The chickens and turkeys are always either eating or running. (FYI: Roosters do crow at sunrise, but this is due to a lesser known fact. They crow all the stinking time. People, roosters have no idea what time it is.)
6) Television. I neither watch it, nor miss it.
7) Rakiya. Homemade brandy distilled from plums/grapes/oranges/figs/whatever they can get their hands on. It is stiff and unregulated. Responsible Rakiya drinkers should be sure to include something to chase the fire with. Selected favorites include: tomatoes, pickles (preferably Russian), and cheese.
8) False kindness from other English speakers. A strange phenomenon where if you speak the same language in a foreign place, you are allowed to skip the lengthy formalities of friendship and move directly to pal status. It has already been good for a free dinner and a taxi ride. That was nice.
9) Mountains. We have three ranges converging on Belovo and it is wonderful.
10) Degrees Celsius. I am ashamed to say, but it makes sense. Water freezes at 0 and boils at 100. There has got to be a better way for America to deal with its insecurities than blatant insubordination to the international research community.
11) Communist relics. Better described as communist ruins. This one is not really funny and will take a lot more digging around to understand.
12) Public Transportation. Once a week I take a bus to a bigger town for classes. If you drove directly it would take about fifteen minutes, it takes us over an hour.
13) Espresso. When I left the States, I promised myself that I would not start drinking coffee or smoking. But, the coffee is too good here. Plus, what else are you going to do when you sit at a café for a couple hours? (Don’t worry mom I am not smoking.)
~~Mark
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1) Not flushing toilet paper. Word on the street is that the ‘system’ cannot handle the added stress. I have some well reasoned doubts on the validity of this inconvenience. But, with a trashcan full of discarded, discolored items, who am I to deviate from protocol?
2) Turkish toilets. Holes in the ground that work off of the squat and go philosophy. Don’t worry they put little groves in the floor for your feet, ‘so I got that going for me.’
3) Stray Dogs. Be thankful for Bob Barker, from the Price is Right, and his crusade to “Help control the pet population.” Things have gotten out of hand over here. They move in packs; they bark through the night. They follow you if you are out for a jog; they have already bitten one of the volunteers in training. I think they have eaten most of the cats, I don’t see many of those around.
4) Girls in semitransparent white pants. It is the current fashion. I had nothing to do with it, but I just thought it worth noting.
5) Roaming farm animals. I live in a bad petting zoo and I think the caretaker quit a couple of years back. The goats usually gather around the apartment building in the morning. The sheep wander back to town from the pastures around sunset. The horses are pretty unpredictable and will show up on their own accord. The chickens and turkeys are always either eating or running. (FYI: Roosters do crow at sunrise, but this is due to a lesser known fact. They crow all the stinking time. People, roosters have no idea what time it is.)
6) Television. I neither watch it, nor miss it.
7) Rakiya. Homemade brandy distilled from plums/grapes/oranges/figs/whatever they can get their hands on. It is stiff and unregulated. Responsible Rakiya drinkers should be sure to include something to chase the fire with. Selected favorites include: tomatoes, pickles (preferably Russian), and cheese.
8) False kindness from other English speakers. A strange phenomenon where if you speak the same language in a foreign place, you are allowed to skip the lengthy formalities of friendship and move directly to pal status. It has already been good for a free dinner and a taxi ride. That was nice.
9) Mountains. We have three ranges converging on Belovo and it is wonderful.
10) Degrees Celsius. I am ashamed to say, but it makes sense. Water freezes at 0 and boils at 100. There has got to be a better way for America to deal with its insecurities than blatant insubordination to the international research community.
11) Communist relics. Better described as communist ruins. This one is not really funny and will take a lot more digging around to understand.
12) Public Transportation. Once a week I take a bus to a bigger town for classes. If you drove directly it would take about fifteen minutes, it takes us over an hour.
13) Espresso. When I left the States, I promised myself that I would not start drinking coffee or smoking. But, the coffee is too good here. Plus, what else are you going to do when you sit at a café for a couple hours? (Don’t worry mom I am not smoking.)
~~Mark
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